Glorious Escapism Roleplay

Selrahc · Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:57 am Post subject:

Just to get to on par with the thread, I'm going to finish whatever we have right now.

~~~

...Suddenly Jesus appeared to guide the pies into his freezer, so he can molest them with an enormous tentacle monster named Karl, but then they were saved when Karl died and the Mexican Air Force destroyed Mexico City with a nuclear bomb because they were defecting to China because Chinese food is better than starving yourself. So Mexico got annexed by the vegetable goblins and trolls, but not before Cambodia invaded France with llamas and plastic sporks.

Thus, Ragna the Bloodedge destroyed everything in Kagutsuchi with his bat and revolver which Rachel Alucard enchanted and bless with vampire pie awesomeness. Meanwhile, fire rained on Ikaruga which was created after the Dark Man and Combines were murdered by Russian Bears.

~~~

Done.

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:58 am Post subject:

Heh, I was planning on letting a little more amass before we worried about this again. I think it's a little better when the "chapters" are a bit longer.
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Selrahc · Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:59 am Post subject:

It felt incomplete, so that's why I did that. At least there was a period this time.

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 3:04 am Post subject:

Eh, I guess so. My fault for deciding to end it on a post with a period in the middle rather than the end.
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Selrahc · Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 3:06 am Post subject:

Its okay. I can wait now since it feels complete.

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:24 pm Post subject:

The next entry, or up to the current point (third post on 151).

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Noel Vermillion then had sex with Makoto Nanaya, Tsubaki Yayoi and Litchi Faye-Ling for several hours, and then Platinum the Trinity joined in, resulting in additional hotness. But then, the Imperator Librarius arrived and dropped bombs on Hakumen because he was going to explode anyway. And then, trains were outlawed in Bhutan because they don't interest Hitler and Stalin, but the pie is under attack from the Jonas Brothers but they died of spontaneous combustion.

And then, helicopters planted petunias in Delaware because Jesus died 750,000,000,000,000 times from paper cuts but still returned. But then ice cream sandwiches were exploded because Jin raining on Canada because Chuck Norris wishes it so. Meanwhile, mice infested a zombie's corpse so Martha Stewart used her vacuum to impregnate the entire race of red spider ladies that spray acid and radioactive webs at pineapples. But Ichi the Killer Starscream yelled, "You are the only one who interrupted Ramadan with your speech!" But then, he exploded.

So Megatron and the ducks were accused of harboring Islamic terrorists in their pyramids filled with cream cheese. But Chris Hansen angered the pies by offering himself to a pedophile named Herbert the Sexy Beast, who was very well-endowed, and liked to watch Grey's Anatomy. But Noel Vermillion found a panda and molested it. Then, Litchi Faye-Ling molested Noel and Rachel with her 24 inch rod and her hands. Which was really sexy and fun. But Herbert died in a nuclear bomb explosion, which was caused by SatanicGlobeArtichoke and his penis which he uses regularly.

Later, the Knights of Popsicle Mountain battles obese pies from the Knights of the Evil Empire owned by Microsoft and Bill Gates. Then Hell Gorillas raped Tiger Woods until O.J. Simpson was given large amount of hats which killed him and his dog. And then, the man-eating butterflies devoured Santa's beard because he didn't wash his scrotum with gasoline and butter. But then, ice died.

Then, Lightning was really sexy. Fortunately, Fang and Vanille had sex. Then, Rambo shot himself and died. And then, ants were eaten by six ticks that explode suddenly. Then Reverend Jeremiah Wright and Barack Obama went to prom as dates and they discussed how to conquer the white people. And then, the flying zombie fish saved America by inventing magic cheese to wrap around the world tree to force it to release gnomes that ate the chocolate marshmallow pie and sold the moon to gypsies.

When Pablo Escobar visited starving pies he petitioned to hang himself in the nude because Tom and Jerry kicked his ass and raped him. Unfortunately, the Christians had sex with giant trolls, resulting in the birth of Dr. Phil. Then a pie played BlazBlue with another pie until a giant hammer was discovered in Casablanca, causing mass destruction to bees.

But then, the tomatoes exploded into cucumbers, destroying many vegetable farmers from the U.S., causing goat sacrifices in Liberia and Brazil where Tiger Woods got shanked by Makoto Nanaya, who didn't like his cheating. She then ate his face inviting Noel Vermillion to shoot him and then have sex with Litchi, Taokaka, Tsubaki and Rachel, which exploded into uber sexiness. But then, the goblins killed them. It wasn't real.

Phil sucks hard. So does SGA. Phil Lies.

Later, Rider was But then, balloons capsized, turning humanity upside down, and into zombie unicorns. Meanwhile, the alligators devoured orphan pies. Then they exploded. And gorillas saved themselves. Unfortunately, Bono sole the virginity and raped their children. So Pikachu asked Shiva to kill Bono with a wire hanger. And then, Shiva was eviscerated by My. T because because he didn't like it when fools backtalk to his face. Then he slapped the shit out of his dog Woofy.

When God flew his camel to North Korea to congratulate Kim Jong Il on creating the world's largest cupcake. Matt Damon was then charged with assault with a spoon in the middle of the ocean against a Sea Dragon which was named Timmy. He was brought by the Indonesians to New Jersey so they can force him to drink alligator urine until Rider came with Saber and Rin to molest the masses of orthodontists gathered in SatanicGlobeArtichoke's basement.

But the Burning Legions watched Inception and fucked each other before Adam West summoned Cthulu, who sent the fuckers to Hell after the Great Pumpkin Dave Mustaine made a sandwich for Johnny Cage who had breast surgery so she could satisfy a strange fetish which involved lots of pudding. But then, she laid and egg. Jin Kisaragi then went fishing with his grumpy uncle and Ragna the Ass-raping Parrot. Then Shinji Mato died graphically and violently Because SatanicGlobeArtichoke shot him with a 5,000 pound explosive. Then, Hanna Montanna made love to Arakune who then killed Taylor Swift with a bra. And then, pink unicorns murdered Nazis and Stalinists before Jerry Springer eloped with his boyfriend Dr. Phil. That made the world sing about shotas raping each other.
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Selrahc · Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:28 pm Post subject:

Okay, so this is from page 151 to page 160.

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But then the Black Beast attacked the denizens of Kagautsuchi, until the Justice League of Libraius sent Hakumen to burn New Jersey down. Then he sent Lex Luthor to Ikaruga so he can battle Bang Shishigami.

Then, headcrab zombies battled Carl Clover who used Nirvana to destroy the Flying Spaghetti Monster but it failed. After Iron Tager fucked Kokonoe, he hunted down and failed to assassinate Hazama. Thiswas the point that Relius Clover challenged his son to a game of chess, and lost before Torakaka decided to die horribly. In Selrahc's delusions. But because the Wings of Justice hated Taokaka's antics decided to shoot nu-13 with a grenade launcher and anti-Taokaka rifle bullet.

But Valkenhayn Hellsing disemboweled the innocent Taotaka with a rubber band and M-16 rifle. But Kaka kittens were burned alive. fired rockets in penis penis penis. Later, Benjamin Netanyahu hit his children with a bag of bricks. Eventually Rin Tohsaka decided she loved Saber but because she also Sakura and the fact that Rider was insanely, unbelievably sexy, she was confused.

Stuff blew up.

This resulted in a U2 concert being canceled, disappointing no one except a pie named Bruno Feuerstein who committed suicide. This disturbed Shredder, so he bought a miniature giraffe that could tap dance. Unfortunately, the carnies stole it and turned it into an evil clown.

The next day, Satan went shopping for globe artichokes which he stuffed into Bill Gates before baking him into a lovely 50,000,000 degrees Fahrenheit. He then served it with a green spoon to Shaggy 2 Dope who greedily devoured it with a spoon. But then Jesus went camping with Dick Cheney and Tom Cruise so he could learn the Pythagorean Theorem from Canadian elephant tamers.

But when Moses forged his katana L. Rob Hubbard prayed for forgiveness. The tin man massacred the citizens of Kagutsuchi, which caused Jin Kisaragi to penis penis.

That was when Rachel Alucard concluded her sexual exploits with Ronald McDonald. These were non-existent. Pears are non-existent. Dragons are real. Yahtzee is not. pies are sexy. Pie is lie. Selrahc lies. Meanwhile, Trees are evil. Seaweed is brown.

God is dead. Jesus had AIDS. We're all doomed. Cake is lie. Hitler still lives. Atheists get castrated. Satan conquers all. Phil loves pies. Cheese tastes good. Rider kills people. So does Saber. Waffles aren't hamsters.

After the madness Noel Vermillion baked cookies for the NOL office party. Unfortunately, they were highly toxic; Jin immediately exploded; Tsubaki fell ill; Relius disintegrated; finally, Makoto vomited; but Hazama felt sexually fulfilled.

~~~~

This is horror, the horror!

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 6:11 pm Post subject:

I rather like this entry. Quite a lot of fun.
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Selrahc · Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 6:27 pm Post subject:

Glad you like it. I just like to accentuate the horror due to the complete insanity unleashed.

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:58 pm Post subject:

Here is the next bit, up until toward the end of 176. Also, sorry I'm on something a of a singular train of thought, it seems. Third entry in a row that has begun with BlazBlue stuff.

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Meanwhile, Bang Shishigami at food at IHOP with Taokaka. Taokaka then decided to grope Litchi's breasts again, which triggered sexy fun before getting nuked. In Selrahc's delusions. And then the Imperator raped Kokonoe before getting killed by Ragna and Jin, thus flying and airship into a black hole. That was when the pies from Popsicle Mountain ate popcorn and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Rachel Alucard had sex with her whole harem of sexy pies. This resulted in uber large orgasms. Then Torakaka fucked Taokaka before getting nuked. It didn't happen. And then Noel Vermillion fucked Makoto and Litchi Faye-Ling while Tsubaki watched from the camera. That was when the guerillas took control of the Death Star, pointing it at Hitler's Führerbunker and fired, causing an explosion and killing him.

This was when the Hell's Angels attacked children with billy clubs and giant candy canes. But then, the evil walrus men tried to kidnap a Mexican fisherman. But they failed. It was then that the died of terminal cancer. of the ass.

It was then Gandalf the White molested a pie hobbit called Matilda who loved it. Meanwhile, Georgia McHailin was given a nice big hug by Tiger Woods and Barack Obama until suddenly a giant catapult fired baby penguins at the White House and Mcdonalds.

Then strange masked banana punished the milkman by cutting off his strangely large head with a penis and testicles that belonged to Edgar Allen Poe who thought that shadows will form unions. But the succubi from the sexy castle went to have sex with a pie Alanis Morissette, but zombie Hitler attacked Ron Jeremy in the middle of his high school with a massive throbbing purple cock.

"Who is responsible for all this pudding on my limited collection of novelty hats!" shouted Drugged up Danny. Then, Tommy Wiseau licked Doggie and wrote his next blockbuster The hall which was critically an epic failure. So the Nazis rioted and jeered at the king of Morocco, causing a conflict between the Reds and Blues which lead to World War XXVII.

Then, Hakumen challenged Bang Shishigami to an eating contest to which none was victorious, as Taokaka ate all the food before scratching the table into pieces. Which was no match for what Hazama did to his subordinate, Noel Vermillion who wisely decided to shoot him in the face. And then, the Imperator Librarius dispatched the entire army of the NOL after Ragna and Charlie Brown; they hired Agent 47 to protect them from the Chaos until Jin Kisaragi killed him and located their whereabouts.

But Brett Farve contacted Sector Seven to decide whether or not to retire form the penguin circus. So the NFL fired their rocket launchers at Farve, but Mecha Tao appeared and deflected them before eating everything in her path. That was when Toby Keirth burned in a fire started by the Queen of England. Ice Cube was incarcerated for selling 90,000,000 pounds of beans. But also twelve counts of indecent exposure; assault with a spork; also, many counts of second-degree loitering.

Later, Haruhi Suzumiya shot Ritsu in the uterus and made her lick her ass. But then, they dressed up as maids and got cat ears filled chlorine gas, choking anyone within two miles to death. It also had the smell of unwashed scrotum. Ritsu went to hell and then fucked Mio before dying horribly. That was when Ritsu was revived by Mio's love before exploding violently. But then the unicorns kicked robot Hitler in the crotch, before reviving Ritsu.

Then the the K-On! girls danced on the stage while nude. After the performance, they had sex, which was awesome. Fred Phelps protested only to be disemboweled, decapitated, delimbed, burned, raped, mutilated, disintegrated, pulverized and fed to a hammerhead shark named Killer. Everyone cheered. The church was blown up by Jason, and then the WBC all died horribly.

Then, suddenly the magical fairly pies had sex with futanari catgirls until sexy pie maids drugged them all and raped them. Then, Megan Fox was molested by SatanicGlobeArtichoke and Rider until Noel Vermillion lactated all over Alicia Melchiott and Fang, which ended up causing orgasms in everyone involved. This made the council of elderly vampire hunters send a teletubby named Tiger Woods to steal pie panties from Popsicle Mountain. Unfortunately, his mission was impeded by Rachel Alucard, who used Clownish Calendula to obliterate him.
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Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:50 am Post subject:

To the middle of 202.

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Lightning then was asked by Catwoman to go to Hell. And then, Hitler vanquished his Jewish heritage, but Pope Benedict said that he be rappin to y'all about sticks and incredibly large pancakes. And then, the giant pizza was kicking down Moscow with its penis and shot the Son of God. Then, after dark Kallen Kozuki and her twin daughters had hot sex ending in epic with Lucrecia Harrison until they were all too tired to continue.

Then Mr T's pants were eaten by Mr T's wife because she had no visible limbs. This was when Sora Aoi slept with Phil the Time Wizard, then she slept with his hot sister. But then the other porn stars Phil likes came and joined in unleashing ultimate hotness. Meanwhile, Toutaku and his pie harem had orgies with Simone Simons and Hyuuga Hinata, and Konata Izumi. It lasted for days and was really really really reall sexy. But the only thing that made the CDs falter was Toutaku's pie BDSM slave and accountant.

But then the moon became Planet pie where many orgies were held to in death. But this was nothing compared to the wrath of the chaos inside the ass of Satan who recently died of hemorrhoids. But the chaos in a pie's heart whose name is Illya von Einzbern and then the zombies attacked France. But then, napalm became the drink of choice for Mexican vampire hunters.

But then, the flesh eating zombies killed everything in Shinra's Weapons Lab causing it to create the ultimate explosion. Then the Russian's yacht exploded killing the Mexican drug lords lounging in Satan's palace. But the school where pies go blew up, but pies were unhurt.

Justin Beiber is a zombie magician. And a transexual. Suddenly, Santa Claus killed him with a toe-missile and a plastic dildo. But the douchebags of Fiona decided to kill Taokaka, which failed because she's awesome. But then, the NOL sent Hazama on a mission to rape giraffes with his mighty raped rhythm stick which is made from old wheelchairs.

Then, Toutaku was given blow jobs by a sexy 5.000 year old vampire pie girl covered in chocolate. Who then stripped Hinata Hyuuga and began fisting her before sucking her anus. That was very very awesome. Then, Tiger Woods and Barack Obama were eaten by angry rabid chihuahuas from the sewers of Final Fantasy. Then, Jesus was sodomized by himself after he found a cloning device made by Hitler's baked salad army who thought that sonic furry was given by God.

But then, fans of Michael Jackson killed Justin Beiber with a penis and a machete. Then the penises fused into a giant mecha penis. Which got destroyed by pies with a mecha vagina. Suddenly a giant fish monsters jumped on to the deck of the HMS Nirvana which was actually a tuna fishing boat willed with explosives and ghosts .

But the haunted mansion of Lady Gaga moved itself to the center of the Earth, where it was filled with lots of chocolate that was eaten by Lucrecia Harrison who is awesome. So awesome, that she was nearly made too awesome and was thus worshipped by millions of pedophiles. However she killed them with her knightmare. And then, she bought new thongs for her to wear with pride.

Unfortunately, then the evil tornado toads were burned by the lords of dance. But then Snow White's tanks were raped by Hitler's dive bombers which were made of plastic and sugar cubes. So the tanks destroyed each other. Then Taokaka died horribly. In Selrahc's dreams. Yes, my dreams. Then the zombies ate Taotaka's remains. Selrahc still dreamed. because Selrahc's dreams are full of darkness and awesomeness.

Then Hitler was killed for the crime of loitering. Then Josef Stalin killed his dog and his family with inflatable knives. Then, the mudkipz fired their laser. Which caused huge explosions to explode. and mushroom clouds were eaten by shark clouds and badger clouds. But the certified rock was a rock.

Then, rock monsters played rock music and destroyed their guitars. But the armies of the Evil Empire rampaged all over the Emperor of Pants' stupid-looking armies and golf courses. Then, the flames raged in the forest at chaos and engulfed New Jersey. But the goats were raped by elephants, which then led to the War of annihilation which was between The Alliance of Bears and a Confederation of many badgers and marshmallows.

Then the destruction of Burger King was followed by a massive celebration as all the whale hunters from Canada fell into the pits of Hell before succumbing to a sudden and deadly disease called herpes. Then the witches of Strike Witches had a five hour lesbian sex orgy. But then, the magical pie was destroyed by the power of God. But then, God was molested by Satan before he was given the purple nurple.

But then Litchi Faye-Ling, Noel Vermillion, Taokaka, Makoto Nanaya, Rachel Alucard, Tsubaki Yayoi, Platinum the Trinity, and Makoto Nanya had an orgy which lasted for several days. Meanwhile the giant Zigarat was destroyed by another giant mecha which was named after Kallen Kozuki who is sexy. And then, giant tacos were served with red wine to Hazama and Arakune, who ate a salad. Then the midget pandas Noel molested were executed by Chinese chefs.

However, Lambda-11danced on the roof of McDonalds before setting fire to Tager's pants. Suddenly, giant spiders attacked bang Shishigami and the killer zebra man. This caused another war between the NOL and the Rebellion in Ikaruga. Jin Kisaragi sided with Hakumen and Jubei and Ragna and Bang Shishigami against Tsubaki Yayoi, Iron Tager, Kokonoe, Makoto Nanaya, Relius Clover and Valkenhayn Hellsing.

Meanwhile, the Irkens were given magic to conquer the rainforest. But the Resisty launched a penguin catapult at Tallest, which failed to explode. Then Zim and GIR fought mecha Hitler while singing the alphabet backwards. This required extreme prejudice from God, who died again, causing Obama to rape Trina Vega, who liked it. But then, she died of cancer.

So the United Stated of Japan was attacked from behind, by White colored Knightmare Framed owned by Alejandro. But then he made mind slaves out of the fans of Lady Gaga and the use knives on Phil the Rapist Time Donkey, who whose name got screwed up by Selrahc because he's not paying attention. He was later attacked by eels but they died of over eating.

Then Selrahc conquered his local Walmart. Then he stole a TV and killed Nancy Pelosi brutally. Then the government of brazil collapsed into anarchy and Selrahc took cover, hiding in a T-80 tank that didn't move. But then, the Mafia assaulted a rival gang with cupcakes. So then the U.S. military invaded Canada so they can add Kangaroos to the list of dangerous lizards. However someone burned them all DVDs of Twilight. Then Robert Pattinson was shot by Selrahc because he likes Jacob more.
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Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:50 pm Post subject:

The story has been quite busy lately, so I figured it was about time to post more here. Haven't in a while, so this is kind of long.

For reference, this takes us to the last post on 268.

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But then, Jacob got mauled to death, then Selrahc had some pie. Then he conquered New Jersey. However, The U.S. military didn't care. So Selrahc conquered Pennsylvania. Then they cared. And chased him to Germany, where he conquered Lithuania.

Then, Amelia Germanotta danced like a drunken giraffe after drinking too much stupid juice with C.C. and Kallen who love Lady Gaga and Beyonce and Justin Beiber. Then Zero flashed Miranda Angelina, who then tried to "Black Lighting" Alejandro. But then, White Zero fought Black Zero, but then the EMPORER came. Then Lady Gaga used her Geass to summon a supper-powered knightmare frame from a portal filled with lighting. And then, Shirley and Kaguya went to the prom together.

But then Alejandro showed up and threatened to kill Amelia and Miranda because he's evil. But then Mr. Orange arrived with the Empoira to stop the mind slaves and Alejandro from killing Amelia and Lady Gaga. But then Lee Shingay and Tianzi appeared and attacked with knives but then, Kanye East got gun cuz he's black but then the mind slaves attacked. But failed because Lady Gaga's knightmare appeared from a portal and killed everything that got in her way.

And then the Emperor of Pants died after Selrahc ate ice cream. And then, the Imperator ordered Tsubaki to go shoot Ragna the Bloodedge in the face but Noel Vermillion saved him by kissing Tsubaki sexily giving him enough time to escape.

Meanwhile, the Combines attacked the city with lasers and headcrab zombies. But then, flames engulfed the Death Star and killed Combines and Barack Obama. Death Star exploded, and fell on Yavin VI, causing Santa's beard to explode and burn causing a giant massive explosion on Mt. Everest. But this caused a robot dinosaur to awaken and attack Hillary Clinton, who was visting her evil alien overlord.

In space, with Will Ferrell, they danced amongst the buffalo. This was probably the most stupid thing that has ever been seen ever. But thankfully, they were given drugs that killed them within the hour. But scarab beetles ate giant pineapples that explode on contact.

So Hakumen was sent to rescue Tsubaki from Hazama. But Darth Vader interfered and kidnapped Tsubaki and killed Hakumen. So Makoto cried her eyes out then challenged Darth Vader and defeated him. Then Hazama died of prostate cancer and thus allowed Makoto and Noel to go shoot the breeze before having shot everything with their video camera and messing with each other sexually.

Meanwhile, the Irkens were defeated by the Galactic Empire of Lawn Furniture. Then flames jutted out of Hitler's and Stalin's asses after they ate habanero chili peppers that had been doused in jalapeno horseradish then stuffed with tabasco juice and cayenne pepper.

Meanwhile, lesbian mermaids had sex with each other before having sex with futa mermaids, resulting more mermaids. This caused a population of sexy mermaids to expand exponentially until they conquered the entire world with their sexiness.

Meanwhile, in another dimension, Tiger Woods dropped into a drug-induced hallucinatory world where colors attacked Jesus' purple dragon with mesmerizing patterns and the green acid-barfing dragon. Then Bruce Willis went into combat with Steve Carell and won, kicking off a winning streak of epic wins against annoying comedians.

And then, somewhere, Paul McCartney was over the rainbow, after he was high on LSD he then wrote "Mary Had A Rocket Launcher" which was a big hit in Korea. And then, monsters were killed by many, many, many bacteria. This was the cause of the zombie epidemic that plagued the San Diego Chargers. And then, the Loch Ness Monster ate the Dallas Cowboys because it needed its daily intake of calories.

And then, the Invisible Pink Unicorn shot rainbows at God until he exploded and died so the IPU had to go and take over China because zombies needed to be destroyed with fire or else the zombies will infect sexy pies. Meanwhile, the CIA had been killed by the numerous zombies wearing hats. But a team of Navy Walruses from Switzerland rescued survivors and ate their pants.

But then, the evil tentacle beasts were hacked into by computers, creating a cybernetic hologram that was awesome. And the clay penis was destroyed by Catholic extremists who thought it blasphemous, but in reality they want to have sex with children. But they got obliterated by ninjas with assault rifles and KNIVES! but then the soldiers used knives on the Knife Brigade causing lots of knives to be thrown at Jesus' cat.

Meanwhile, the fires of Hell were scorching all over New Jersey. But then, helicopters fell on Ragna the Bloodedge, which he was crushed by a Mi-26 helicopter. He became a resurrected dark messiah and a ghost. But then, the crimson grimoire swam while being chased by Al Gore only to be eaten by jellyfishes. And then, hammerhead exploded randomly, triggering more hammerheads exploding until then there no more sharks on the moon.

Then, the NSA built a statue of Hugo Chavez and Mickey Mouse but they were torn down because Dracula killed everyone in the movie Twilight and the world of Warcraft, because they both sucked majorly. However this was not a very big spoon. But the forks ate zebra man. And Beedrills swarmed Bigfoot's sled because they need their cactuses to be lubricated and shiny for the festival. And then, the gold-plated fish told the pies that they needed more Mig-15s to attack Obama's hovercraft, because he tried conquering Hogwarts with a giant dick cannon made of dirt.

But the swarms of zombie penguins were attacked by a talking penis. Who came and came al over the penguins, which disturbed them greatly. Later, Santa Claus built a statue out of daisies and pubic hair. Unfortunately, the lackadaisical soldiers of the lobster liked loitering with Linkin Park and pies. However, Jack Nicholson jumped onto a chicken shaped hover train going to Czechslovakia to masturbate. But giant gatiling guns decided to deflower the giant vaginas filled with candy, by shooting many adorable puppies. But Mexican Taxi Drivers were arrested for dicking around and selling lots of nitroglycerine to children.

And the Penguins drank poison and marched to Fiji where they were buried alive while Obama spontaneously exploded. Which caused gasoline to ignite and burn Pendragon to the ground while lots of tigers kill monster goats. Then, quite suddenly, flames jutted out of arronyo's bottom while he flew over the moon. Then, the flamingos joined his formation and danced alongside the Emperor of burnt rectal passages. Which then shot himself with a baboon bone cannon which impaled his puppy on a metal stake, killing Tiger Woods.

However zombie tigers rose only to be used as horses by actual horses. Which they turned into wooden unicorns., And shot ice cubes at Jesus. And then, the ghost of Hitler went explody, causing the war between skeletons and ghosts of one-eyed Mexicans and Nazi Soviets.

That was when the commissars of magic pony lang danced while unicorns until Mecha Obama tried to destroy Mecha America with Mecha Obamacare and lasers. But he was defeated by Erza Scarlet and Giant Enemy Crabs but then the Magical Unicorn Knights declared that their base are belong to Fone.

Meanwhile the Vermicious Burns disappeared into nothingness. And the pie eating pies shot many pies with pies that exploded into more pies that were multiplying into more pies that pies fear because these pies don't extrapolate their own key cards; therefore zombies suddenly attacked the blueberry pies but then pies came and launched a nuclear pie at some defenseless pies. Which then cultivated into a pie before the kamikaze was thwarted by epic failure.

But, Kallen and Erza ate some cheese before deciding to make balloon animals and have sex. After hours of incredible hotness, Saber discovered how to best satisfy Rider with her amazing oral skills and exquisite trombone playing. That was when zombie futanaris invaded Cincinnati, Ohio, where SGA and Rider were baking pies and salads for Adolf Hitler and Ted Bundy. Unfortunately, the pies contained a potent poison and undead souls. After eating the pies, Hitler and Bundy experiences a sudden transformation into mermaids that could become werewolves when magical flying warthogs molested little boys.

But then, a Nazi vampire attacked the Queen of England, which caused an epidemic to be averted in Spain on the moon, because Dracula was hungry for words, but was fed seventy-two human corpses and he shared them with his mother who is in reality Darth Vader. but this caused the planted Saturn to become desegregated. After that, the zebra killed a cow before teleporting to Tatoonie where it went joyriding in a landspeeder before doing skydiving with Pete in a canoe full of TIE Fighters and hookers.

Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, the Eagles were eaten by radioactive space piranhas which in turn were eaten by Ethiopian pies who like pies made of pies and pies upon pies but then pies anally raped pies declared war on pies and then Drew Brees turned into brett Farve because the KGB took over the NFL so the Steelers got screwed but still won and flipped everyone On their heads before Jesus came into the room with Tommy Wiseau and died on the next day.

But then, Darth Penis attacked Delaware but failed and opened a Walmart. Which got destroyed. Unfortunately, Biggie Smalls slapped jason Briggs for being a fag. But then, Darth Penis ascended into oblivion, causing Tiger Woods to melt into blood waffles. This caused a massive shift key to be formed, causing the WORLD TO SHOUT DAMN YOU, GOD!!!!!!

HOWEVER, THEN THE PANTY FAIRIES RELEASED A GIANT WEASEL THAT TOOK A BUNCH OF PIES TO THE GRANDMASTER FLASH CONCERT WHERE THE LOLIBEARPIG WAS RAPED BY ZEBRAS BEFORE BEING DESTROYED BY HITLER'S ROBOTIC NAZI MECHAS, BUT SUDDENLY A GIANT TACO MONSTER ABOLISHED SLAVERY ON JUPITER. THEN, GIANT MECHAS TENDERIZED THE ALMIGHTY SQUIRREL STEW THAT WAS MADE FOR SATANICGLOBEARTICHOKE AND HIS SEX SLAVE, RIDER. THEN THE GIANT WORM DESCENDED UPON PENIS OF GOD WITH THE INTENTION OF REVIVING THE DESOLATE ONE AND THE DINOSAURS.

FORTUNATELY, YUKI NAGATO WAS THERE TO RAPE PIES. LATER, JESUS WAS KIDNAPPED BY TROY POLAMALU WHO OBTAINED THE SORCERER'S STONE SO HE COULD TURN MOKOTO MISAKA INTO MIKOTO MISAKA, THUS KUROKO FUCKED HER. FOR MANY HOURS. LEONARDO DICAPRIO WAS THEN RANDOMLY GIVEN PIES, TACOS, AND HALF A SANDWICH.

MEANWHILE, KALLEN WAS FUCKING ERZA SCARLET AND REIMU HAKUREI GLORIOUSLY WITH VIBRATORS AND LOTS OF CHOCOLATE SMEARED CHESTS. THAT WAS WHEN THE COPPER QWASER WAS MOLESTED BY HARUH, MIKURU AND YUKI, THAT WAS WHEN KYON THE CONDESCENDING PRICKED DECIDED TO INVEST IN SPOONS AND SPORKS SO TOMMY WISEAU COULD COULD FILM HIS NEXT MOVIE WHICH WOULD SUCK BALLS AWESOMELY.

HOWEVER, THE HELLHOUNDS FROM HELL MADE SANDWICHES FOR JOSEPH STALIN, WHO FUCKED A MONGOOSE. AND KILLED RONALD MCDONALD SO THAT MCDONALD WITH A SWORD COULD TAKE OVER THE MOON. UNFORTUNATELY, BLACK JESUS RAPED WHITE JESUS' MAN BOOBS, WHICH CAUSED SEVERAL GIRAFFES BUY DIRECTV AND BEAT EACH OTHER AT CONNECT 4.

THAT WAS WHEN THE G-UNIT DECIDED TO BAKE CUPCAKES AND SALAD SO THAT THE ZOMBIES WOULD VIOLATED TIM TEBOW WITH A JACKHAMMER. THEN, THE EMPEROR OF PANTS COPPED A FEEL FROM ROBOT HITLER WHO WAS GIVING TIGER WOODS A GOOD THUMPING WHILE DARTH PENIS FLEW KRONOS SO HE COULD DESTROY THE PIES THAT WERE BAKED BY JOHN KERRY AND SEAN PENN, WHO WERE PERFORMING VASECTOMIES ON LADY GAGA AND ANGELINA JOLIE WHEN ANGELINA JOLIE WHEN SUDDENLY, THEY ALL HAD AND ORGY UNTIL BEARS ATTACKED.

THIS LED TO MASS CARNAGE AND MASS GIDDINESS AMONG THE DOLPHINS. HOWEVER LEPRECHAUNS WERE EATEN BY WOLVES THAT BELONGED TO JUST BIEBER AND SOULJA BOY WHO DECIDED TO HAVE A BACHELORETTE PART WITH LOTS OF FISH STICKS AND GAY SEXY. THEN MARTIN LUTHER KING HIT GANDHI IN HELL WITH A GUITAR BELONGING TO JOHN LENNON AND SANTA CLAUS.

THIS STORY IS REALLY AWESOME, BECAUSE IT HAS ACTION, PIES, MURDER, RAPE, ZOMBIES, INTRIGUE, BAKED SALAD, NAZIS, LESBIAN ORGIES, BOOBS, TAXIDERMY, TROLLS, ANAL FIRE DRAGONS, JESUS, POPSICLES, TSUNDERES, TRAPS, TIGER WOODS, PENIS, VAMPIRES, SINESS, SABER, KALLEN, ERZA, REIMU, SHINO, ALCHEMIE, AND RANDOM EXPLOSIONS.

THERE WERE SOME EVIL GOBLINS WHO LIVED IN NILBOG AND THEY LOVED HUMAN PLANT MATTER. LATER, BOB MARLEY WAS BADGERED BY SATANICGLOBEARTICHOKE BECAUSE HE SAID RIDER WAS "THE TOUCHABLE QUEEN". THAT WAS WHEN SABER AND RIN kissed each other and then Reimu killed a zombie with a stapler.

Suddenly, a giant pair of breasts belonging to Rider came crashing onto a massive penis Belonging to Flandre while Nanoha Takamachi was fist fucking Fate Testarossa and Yuuka Kazami fired jizz onto them which burned them just mildly. Meanwhile, shit blew up in space, but Chuck Norris couldn't do jack shit to stop the non-stop masturbation of Reimu's galactic orgy which was totally and completely rapey.

Eventually, a flaming popsicle shit demon was destroyed by Chuck Norris' pseudo-penis, which is made of Win. After the war, Tess hates hit with pies and traffic cones thrown by Alchemie but loves to have sex with Kyousuke and Excellen who both decided to molest pies. and shotas so Bigfoot would attack Bob Evans and Douchey MicNickPick to enlist them into the Galian army where they were blast of to Saturn where Greedo raped Santa Claus and jackie Chan. Before getting shot by a hobo. With a shotgun.

That was when Momoko and Shinobu bought a tank to shoot Maya ruins in Mexico before the evacuated a vending machine into china, causing cyborg unicorns to destroy May Engeorge in the press. But then, the giant evil space aliens killed Phil Collins because the hated his songs but suddenly a giant pumpkin monster raped a gazelle. before getting destroyed by Jesus. However Yuyuko got fat Jesus got destroyed and a gigantic eyeball belched out chocolate ice cream.

Then, the giant Purple past thing molested a whale before getting incinerated by Robot Hitler and Alien Stalin which in turn caused a pie explosion, causing many pies to be super sexy awesome delicious. But this revelation didn't surprise Ben Roethlisberger, who took out his giant rubber mallet and chased the alien invaders until they bargained to give him a tasty pie so he could have breakfast with his mechanized gorilla named George, which then went fishing with Mecha-Godzilla and the psychotic zebraman from the Far reaches of the planet Saturn which suddenly exploded. Leaving a gap in the trees. while the asteroids bombarded Brazil.

However, a swarm of hornets invented a new chocolate flavored waffle which was stolen by Chuck Norris who assassinated the protagonist of Freezing for being a wussy, stupid looking fat faced motherfucker and after killing his dumbass, the Plutonians raped his dead sister while Yahtzee watched and got killed by Nothing. He lives. And then, the tentacle monsters raped Phil's pet pie, but then died due to being eaten by a hawk-eagle hybrid monstrosity with two heads called Nigel. This caused Barack Obama And his twin, Tiger Woods, to run for to penis penis penis.

Once upon a time, seventy-three walruses massacred an army of Nazi robots before taking over Popsicle Mountain where many pies rebelled and repelled the Mexican immigrants who were taking their pies and selling bootleg anime figures which broke and pissed people off.

Uncle then Twittered about how the one more thing that would stop him from doing REEEESEEAAAARCH was stolen by the android army... created by Muhammad Ali's nephew's godson: Bill Gates, who raped the internet's anus with his plastic toy ligtsabre. and then decided.. to bite a ginormous vampire unicorn Was was secretly anal fire dragon ghost from Unspecifiedistan which was also part of OJ's Finger licking good Rusty spoon collection with a brass alloy pan handle. Which was always sexy, erotic fun on rainy evening. With no rubber ducks, Baron Grishnack emasculated virgin trekkies by buggering them with nipple tassels until they had A random outburst of fecal matter which caused the Face to explode into song before every priest danced Upon Giant piles of potato faces because the diabolical man of power known only as Mr. Nipple lick decided to rape horses for a quick sexual thrill. Which made him the target of Bruce Springsteen who Loves jerry Springer and is badass. Which I agree with.

Therefore, the Time Wizard is king of pies. Liked to lick the sweet insides of the pies before thrusting his fork into their Bacon and egg filling. That was Never going to satisfy Mr. Buttons who obstructed the picnic for the thirty-fifth time, causing helpless little children to be raped up their arses. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris with nothing more than a show, Which was always dirty, defeated Evil guy from the Bible, bringing Calvin and Hobbes spontaneous orgasms.

Meanwhile, Emperor Palpatine invaded San Fransisco because Norfolk was always riddled with incest. Tommy Wiseau decided that he was going to make a cheese sandwich for his princess who was called Lisa. However, she Was a man named Ash Willaims Who was also and tore him A new bum That was when He really couldn't eat sandwiches with chopsticks which he got from Chris-R. who went to collect from Denny his money and sell some drugs before popping a cap in the girl's ass. Later Johnny and Mark wanted to be shot in the head by themselves. causing Chuck Norris to die in a freak masturbation fantasy, dreamed by Billy Joe Armstrong. who was really really really gay. That was when He found out that someone had inserted an apple into his rectum. And he shouted "I am GAY!" To the World. And the world replied: "WE KNOW!"

As a whale battled a zombie With only a boy's school uniform and a chainsaw. To give him Masou Shoujo Powers and Vampiric Ninja, apple sauce with a pie, mute necromancer. This resulted in EPIC WIN and sexiness because it just WON.
THE GAME it was lost.

However...
_________________

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 9:58 pm Post subject:

I compiled more of the story together. And, yes, it probably was the last of these paragraphs that compelled me to do so:

Rider succeeded in seducing Canaan and poked him in an eternal vortex but they escaped. And managed to find a secluded beach where they had wild sex and delicious pies. Then, suddenly a giant monstrous poptart made burritos for a god called Maxamillian Stewart Cthuluson who raped puppies. with his massive umbrella so the pies were extra loose and baggy. Suddenly, a wizard of time, named Carlos, raped a poor innocent pie until it burst in a globby mess, covered in unborn rabbit pieces.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Obama's anal passage crab people were stealing lawn furniture from Vin Diesel because they thought Tom Brady was a wizard, but infact he really was a mutated cow-shagging trollop named Henry the cow-shagging trollop. However, his penis was trivial because it didn't exist.

Meanwhile, Donny the Retarded Garden Gnome got eaten by Hitler's mustache, which belonged to Fergie who suddenly performed "Clumsy", which sucked because Pedobear destroyed the children, thus Pedobear was elected NAMBLA's president and the Pope. This greatly satisfied the pies who loved dating sims and free candy made from semen. It was decided that pantless hobos would be sent to Stalin's house for an orgy involving lesbian vampires and human corpses.

The Chinese government went fishing with Canaan and Alphard who decided to get ice cream to smear on each others bodies while they had a wild threesome with Maria, who loved licking Canaan's wet vagina excitedly. Then, Saber joined Rider for some extreme mountain biking and lesbian sex. The next morning Rin Tohsaka made blueberry waffles with fried chicken for Rider and Saber before they all played strip poker and had more satisfying sexy sex.

That was when Madoka Kaname suddenly was molested by Kyouko Sakura and Homura Akemi, who both love pies and pies. This caused Usami Haru to sexually assault Mikoto Misaka with Eucliwood Hellscythe assisting in removing her clothing completely before fondling her breasts and inserting their fingers into her vagina hotly until she climaxed violently. Following this, a Magical Space Hippo died violently when Ebony Way made Voldymort fall off His magical flying car. This caused Dumbledore to yell "What the hell where did my Avril Lavigne cape go???" before Ebony Way flew quickly with Draco to fornicate before dying their hare black.

Leonidas then led himself to Mexico where he organized a cheese sandwich to shot at the crazed gigantic robot zombie monster bear with two gigantic cock zombies which spontaneously combusted. into unicorn rainbows that impoverished Ethiopians were eaten by. Then Rorschach boned a giant shark which subsequently led to the awesome invention of rubber chicken pillow fights before exploding, causing a massive chain of green plants to engulf the entire world of Pants to be destroyed in a massive explosion. However, Chuck Fucking Norris roundhouse kicked the Persians back to nothingness before going to Afghanistan to win the war!

This enraged Wolverine who dragged Cyclopes by his testicles into the vortex which led to raining pie pies of pure awesome and penises. This led to Victorique be Blois becoming a taco troll with too many wool sweaters and the static shock caused wooden spoons to suddenly explode into song while Kallen Kozuki bought Erza Scarlet flowers so she would love her and get into her bed for some girl-on-girl sexiness. It was awesome, but then Saber joined in and the world rejoiced at the beautiful sight of it all. However zombie hitler got tickets to see the sexiness and couldn't get in because security was full of Jewish peeps who hate all nazi hamburgers that were filled with sour kraut and human flesh rotting out from when the giant foot stomped down upon the massive goat legged rapist with three penises. who took advantage of everything he had stolen from the Lagoon company thus causing Revy to freak out and start shooting pies, priests, dinosaurs and SatanicGlobeArtichoke's favorite game, Blazblue.

Later, Noel Vermillion had babies with SatanicGlobeArtichoke while Rider and Canann fucked each pie. This was adequate, but then a freaky mutant tentacle raped the most awesome of pies. This caused the pie queen to bake pies before waging war against the evil Galactic Empire from Detroit that was encompassing all of the cities in Penisland, where the High Enuch of sacrilegious pies schemed to sacrifice them to Odin so they could feast, have sex with horse and fruit. cows, and create fighting game tournaments on the moon. that are MCed by Hitler.

Meanwhile, Luke Skywalker is raped by Ewoks while Chewy watches Jersey Shore and jerks it because he thinks that snookie is his personal slave. That's when Rider suddenly used her fingers to extract from a pie the delicious filling which she ate sexily with Saber who thought it smelled of rotting rainbows and happiness. Then, Saeko Busujima removed her thong and then inserted a giant bomb into a zombie's anus before detonating super sparkly rainbows into the sun. She lated discovered that the pies were scheming to kidnap the president so they could bake him for twelve hours in the freezer and then serve him to their pet anal fire dragon because it was very hungry.

However giant ants got raped by Jesus because Sakura Matou wanted to suck on a pie-pop shaped like a cute shota. Then lava shot out of Shinji Matou's stomach, causing horrible 8th degree burns all over his penis, which was somehow even smaller than an insect's toenail. This caused Rider to laugh sexily. She then stabbed him in the scrotum with her chain nails. This was epic and led to colossal lesbian orgies involving the cast of Madoka. Afterwards, Hyuuga Hinata and Konata Izumi went to Disney World where they had sex on the children's ferris wheel while several pies watched and exclaimed "What are you to that poor girl, Konata?" However, Konata only shrugged and walked backwards while singing "Baby Got Back".

This caused the Great pie Massacres that were orchestrated to fail by Erza Scarlet and Mitsuru Kirijo, who had a harem of cute girls before dying suddenly from fail and was then revived. Then they all had an orgy. It was supersexyextremelyawesome. However, then the shit got real when suddenly a giant monster ate Hitler's pants. This caused jubilation in Hell, where Satan grabbed the first trident and threw Poseidon by mistake. That was when Natsu and Lucy fought a massive three headed broom that attacked Moscow in the dead of night.

However, the sun drank milk from a crater on the back of a flying fruit cow but this angered Allah, so he set fire to himself and ran at a barrel then fell over. Causing every pie to laugh at this funny display. Then, Yukari Takeba licked Mitsuru Kirijo's vagina sexily while gently massaging her ass. Then they opened the box containing multiple vibrators and Yukari happily inserted one into her dog's vagina while Fuuka made ramen and spaghetti which caused everyone to run away. This angered Erebus who threw the bucket of meatballs at Junpei Iori's face, causing mass laughter from Yukari. Mitsuru then forcibly beat the hell out of the P3 Main Character. This led Avan Hardins to laugh at the failure of himself on the important mission.

The Virgin Mary had sex with Rider and Kallen while Jesus watched and masturbated furiously. until he was violently raped by himself. This confused Eucliwood Hellscythe who was molested by Ayumu Aikawa's imagination until Seraphim called him a piece of cross dressing voyeuristic, disgusting, decrepit unholy shit. This made Haruna excited so she kissed Sera on the tits before moving excitedly to lick Eucliwood's asshole while roughly fingering her vagina causing her to orgasm wildly.

Meanwhile, Phil joined in the U.S. Navy but quit, instead using spray pain on an enraged psychopathic hand puppet until it exploded. This was boring and failed make the Taco King aroused. However, Broderick the Analrapist was hit in the testicles by Broderick the Analrapist. Then, Rosie O'Donnell accidentally a whole pie with a turkey baster. This caused global famine but only in Antarctica. Unfortunately, the members of XBlakXTearX Tiger Woods and a wooden horse were anally raped by Garterbelt who then declared his sandwich to be the spicy vinegar popsicle so it exploded. Which made Ayumu pay his taxes and start a cult devoted to worshipping Akemi Homura because she is a sexy and awesome. Kaname Madoka decided she loved Akemi but exploded violently into rage when mermaids died by drowning.

After that many anal fire pigeons swarmed on Kaname and Akemi before committing suicide and exploding, causing nothing to happen. But then, giant penises rained down on Timbuktu causing a gay orgy. killing Phil's favorite flesh eating bacteria. Galactic wars soon got canceled in Phil's house, so he watched yuri anime instead. Then he fucked millions of sexy pies. He was contented. And shit exploded. Somewhere far away. Erza Scarlet and Kallen Kozuki fucked. This was hot and amazing.

So Lucy Heartfillia glomped Cana Alberona before getting blown up in Selrahc's imagination. But then, the cannibalistic rape fish ate SGA and his dog. This led to the fish splitting open and raping pies. Then Jesus came before getting incinerated all over Kallen who was unharmed. She ate some delicious cake. Misa then fucked and incendary dildo which melted her. Which caused mass extinction among pies to not happen. Which then made tsuruya commit suicide. But she failed. Tsuruya disintegrated and died, Selrahc dreamed. Mikuru then decapitated Shinji Matou, who deserved to get brutally murdered.

Rider then gently caressed SGA's penis before frenching Canaan and Saber. This was incredibly sexy and fun for everyone including pies, who watched and masturbated. This led to the rise of Erza Scarlet as sexiest anime goddess ever, which was indisputable. Therefore the sexy girls of anime made her a delicious cake that was delicious. Lucy then asked Mirajane for sex who said "yes" Hotness then ensued. Fortunately, Fairy Tail thought this was awesome so they threw a party involving lots of lesbian sex and bacon sandwiches.

Afterwards Rod and Nathalie were attacked by exploding homicidal birds but were saved by Al Gore and Erza Scarlet but then the ice caps melted, due to Global Pantsing, which was a serious issue in Tibet. Then a mountain lion attacked and devoured a tree hugger but Rod managed to get back to his car. Then Rod drove to Tommy Wiseau's house slowly so Broderick the Analrapist and James Nguyen could make a movie together called The Birdemic Room: The Rise of Psychotic Anal Rapists Named Broderick. It was awfully awesome and made the pie population die. After eighty years. pies were all cute and healthy. The world celebrated and the birds had lesbian sex on the moon.

Victorique then decided eat some pie with Broderick and Hitler, who had equally rapey tendencies. Then, Natsu Dragneel ejaculated sixty miles onto himself. This Broderick Broderick Broderick PENIS PENIS PENIS!!!!!!!!! caused infanticide and unwanted teenage pregnancies such as seals. Kallen died and sexily resurrected herself. And then, giant cupcakes were baked for her. Then she died again. She resurrected again. Ate cake again. But then, the nothing did nothing.

Then Hell invaded Selrahc's house to get destroyed by the Pittsburgh Steelers. That was when Mikoto Misaka was molested by Kuroko who penetrated her vagina with her face before dying. Selrahc dreamed this. But Hell didn't. Meanwhile, Jesus was a mahou shoujo of Epic Tsundereness. He combated the Reptilian Sex Cybords and won, causing Anal Fire Dragons to rampage all throughout the kingdom before eating the super mega evil pie queen of Cannibal Nazis. This made zombie Hitler rape his own santa claws doll which was made by a blind bartender who had a collection of hentai movies in which the protagonists from A Light Forgotten were featured.

This made Erza very excited, as she filmed herself fucking Lucy Heartfillia and Mirajane in leather bondage wear. This sold for many years, because those girls are awesomely sexy. Meanwhile, incestuous vampire twins had an orgy with Utsuho Reiuji Black Rock Shooter, Aoi Kunieda and Aigis.This was hairy genitals so Mato Kuroi made Yomi a cake which they shared. Causing the Great yuri sex party. This was nice.Unfortunately, then the Nova assimilated them. But then, they were saved by a flying cake armed with a super gattling laser made of cheese and ultra violence.

Suddenly, Jesus made a nega cake from the remains of Agrabah, but then a Wizard named phil destroyed a pineapple with magical space monkeys and a banana. Suddenly, Megatron and Batman had a strange desire to go trout fishing with their penises. This attracted a Brizillian Rape Fish named Tiger Woods "Obama" McGee. This fish proceeded to cop a feel on a sandwich made of AIDS that suddenly exploded inside of Kallen. She was unharmed but had AIDS. The AIDs disappeared when Erza Scarlet found a magical panda created by Athena and the Sunshine Band.

This caused great joy castrated pies who were not pies but SUPER pies that had no elongated chocolate onions. This was when Anhold the Destroyed picked flowers with Saddam Hussein and a talking eggplant while a Mudkip fired his lazer at Brian Peppers and Bill Cosby. Who later died due to unrelated stonings and massive global warming related to Al Gore's penis, which did not look very much like a ordinary human penis. Somewhere, a magical pie maiden was eating a pie with Broderick the Analrapist, Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, John Fredrick Kennedy, a random drunk, SatanicGlobeArtichoke, Rider, and five clones of Rachel Alucard naked.

Suddenly, a volcano attacked violently, causing Tommy Wiseau to jump the shark but the shark jumped him afterwards but it was pregnant so it decided to instead force him to make a pizza and give it googly eyes, so it would be able to play electric guitar with Azusa Nakano and Yui Hirasawa. Then Madoka Kaname was watching and anime about magical girls who fought naked magical girls while eating pocky and playing the flute. This was epicly amazing and made bazillions of yen that was used to build a giant death ray made of chocolate penises, dragons, footstools and Tommy Wiseau's toy gundam, Chad.

It suddenly exploded into cotton candy causing unicorns to fire their horns at Chuck Norris who deflected them with his beard. Causing PEDA to club baby seals and chew bubblegum to stick in the hair of Cindy the Schoolgirl who then raped herself with a stick of dynamite that exploded when her but was violated by a tentacle monster from Chuck Norris' beard which was named Sally the Spankroid. Then, Ebony Way slapped Darth Vader with a fish that was goffic and bisexual. This caused Vlodemort to hathe telekinesis, which he used to take over a MCR concert by the rolling stones replace MCR and had heart attacks but were hospitalized for zombie cancer. They became zombies and ate pies and cakes that Professor McGoogle created through Advanced Biology.

A steel dildo raped Amelia Eirhart and Charlie Sheen with four roasted whole chickens that exploded into cum when exposed to the Hulk's gamma functions because they were made of taco salad and egg salad sandwitchs that could speak. The Sandwitch King was summoned by Natsu and Happy who made him super kick ass so he could kill and evil bar of soap with gypsy magic.

Then Light and Dark Yagami started to rape misa-misa who loved Sayu but couldn't have any potato chips because they were eaten by Light. This made L super-powered so Night Yagami wrote Chuck Norris' name on some paper but he didn't have any shoes so he went to Walmart where he was attacked by his evil twin brother Kcuhc Sirron, who was a muai thai enthusiast from Baltimore and a Smurf. He hated blueberries and condoms so Adolf Hitler summoned A giant man-eating pudding snack which was made of butterscotch pudding and pure evil sauce. It attacked John Lennon and Yoko Ono because it hates all peace and does not like yellow submarines.

However, a walrus is good for Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife because it has chocolate chip cookies from the dark salad dressing spoon at Taco Bell. This was then that amazing chihuahua killed a clown who was actually Barack Obama; this infuriated his gay lovers, who then conspired to overthrow the kind of the Europa empire who ate all the super potatoes and exploded. So the IRA decided rape a sheep while the cows were milked by Old McDonald and the Frankenstein Monster This angered the Queen of England who exclaimed "off with their penises!"

This caused Broderick to anally assault all the lambs in New Zealand and Australasia. This caused Satan and Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way to have sex, until Dumblydore came and shouted loudly: "What the hell do you think you are doing you ludacris mutherfukers!" But then, Volxemort shot Vampire with his gun, but Lumpkin and Serious where doing it while Snoop watched and masticated on Enoby's goffik miniskirt while taping everything with his poket combination camera, smoothie margaritavil, sammich, taco time-machine and iPod. Called the 'Snapeinator'.

This angered Zombie Ayumu Aikawa, who set out to defeat the evil Ramen wielding psychopath with his giant Turtle called Boris the time traveling submarine, because he can shoot torpedos at himself when he's swimming really drunkenly. However, the Ale keg was running for president so Boris couldn't drink it. This caused him to sodomize cattle with Kallen Kozuki's breasts nowere near him. Then the ASBs combined to form a sea sponge with giant breasts. Then more ABs attacked the sponge withe sponges made from Spongy Sponge.

So Rhodanthe Tempest fondeled Eirwen Fenix before forcing her tongue into Eirwen's mouth, which caused Wally to look somewhat awkward. Meanwhile, Rufus was staring intently, deeply aroused. Enoka, however, was really pretty uncomfortable. As was Broderik Scarlett and Harman. Trine looked incredibly turned on and was eyeing the sexy action, but glanced at Trent and slapped him because he was enjoying it a little too much. Free at last, Diyanira decided to join in on the action, groping Eirwen's flat chest before her tongue excitedly while Rhodanthe started to feel up Eirwen's butt before pressing Nira's mouth onto her beautiful inner thigh which Nira kissed excitedly, desire growing as she neared Rhodanthe's moist slit which she began to lick softly and deeply. Then liking the taste she decided to probe deeper and deeper while Eirwen pulled Rhodanthe into a deep kiss, their tongues dancing with each other in a swirl of sexiness. Then Eirwen decided to playfully lick Rhodanthe's breasts as she inserted her finders into Diyanira's vagina. The three had also called Erza to join in which she did increasing the sexiness almost ten fold plus more.

Meanwhile....
_________________

Selrahc · Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 8:22 pm Post subject:

After searching through the damn pages because Phil forgot to put the numbers last time, I finally found out where we are.

Continuing from Phil's post, here's the end of page 338 to the second to last post of 346.

As a side note in response to the last pages of 'fun', you guys are perverted morons.

~~~~

It rained and many abortions occured in Canada, where where the baby seals were routinely executed by Sadam McButtface, only to be raped by Joseph McDonald, and seventy-five horny koalas that have AIDS.

Elsewhere, the Octopus man hunted the Tiger Shark Woman until they were cornered by the Rubber Band Man who ate cats. But the Hammerhead Lion Turtle flew on an airplane to Cairo, Egypt but it crashed on Zombie Island where there were shot out of a penis cannon attached to Ayumu who was slapped by Saya Takagi who kissed Saeko who cuddled Chen who ran away.

A giant cake shaped like Reptar was made for Satella's birthday party inventations to which everyone but Ganessa were given. This made Ganessa angry so she refused to eat the pudding given to her by Rana who thought that it was for Santa Claus because it was red labeled "Santa Claus." Santa then sneezed blood and cocaine onto a prostitute called Alanis Morissette, who liked to get burned by moderately hot beverages. This caused massive fat people to hide their hot pockets in the frozen tundra of Las Vegas, where sand eskimos lived with a dog. The dog ate healthily and exercised before murdering Mina and her beloved Johnathan before they ran away quickly.

This caused Dracula to burst into laughter, as he exploded into chunks of candy, only for the candy to suddenly sing justin Beiber's murderer, who was instantly a celebrity worshipped by many. However, all despaired when Selrahc made Mina Tepes die in a game. Snoop Dog then garbed the caramel pieces, which tasted like human blood and feces. Then Drago Malfoy was killed horribly when his herpes exploded. So Ebony Way stabbed Volxemort with her gun to make sure it was full of awsum goffik energi but then Dumblehor ran into the flying car with his awesome beard which suddenly exploded. Then MCR came but really it was Death Dealers and Volxemort, who was incredibly drunk causing him to vomit heroin and sugar cubes on Mao Zedong, which caused the Great Khan to kill people dressed up like Abraham Lincoln and George Busch because he hates U.S. Presidents that are Republicans and Liberals for being mean to penguins.
_________________

Shut up and bleed, you motherfucker.

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Fri May 06, 2011 1:25 am Post subject:

I got kind of bored so I did this until the third from the bottom post on 392.

----------------------------------------------------------

Out of nowhere Homura Akemi appeared and molested Horakhthy and Madoka Kaname but then, the evil Kyubey made Flandre blow up cute puppies. This made cerberus angry so he left angry comments on Kyubey's personal blog 4chan, causing massive outbreaks of trolling amongst the populace of the American haters who fall asleep during sex. Then a magical girl, Mami Tomoe, set about destroying witches, was suddenly eaten by Yuyuko who was then eaten by a youkai named Rumia who was eaten by only me.

This resulted in the mass poodle rape by the Mass Poodle Rapists to which belonged: Roderick the PoodleRapist, Tiger Woods, Steve Irwin, and his nation of Australia. Then the revolution began when a particularly agitated poodle sent text messages to George Bush's hat, which organized better than George. Surprisingly, then a feral werewolf pie started an orgy under the moon. This caused a time paradox occurrence but only in Northern Hokkaido and Baltimore where the pie energy's strongest.

However, this made Broderick the Analrapist die horribly in the arms of Sakura Matou, who loved him dearly but hated his per goat named Felipe the Buttsniffer who believed in Slaanesh and was a cross dresser. Meanwhile, Rin Tohsaka made out with Kallen Kozuki, which was rather awesome and sexy, until it ended suddenly with both being thoroughly satisfied. Then ASBs killed them in Selarhc's dreams. But then, the tentacle monsters rampaged all across Taco Bell because they couldn't afford chicken.

Then, Kyoko Sakura stripped in front so Sakyaka Miki took off to buy her some sexy lingerie before they had sex but then the Walpurgisnacht arrived and killed everyone because it is evil and freaking awesome. So then Kyubey went home to his world, satisfied. The Powerpuff Girls decided to go destroy Townesville for Kyubey's sake, causing massive retaliation from the heroes of Madagascar, causing severe penis envy in every porn star before being massacred by the Nazis. In turn, were forced to dance by the spetnaz and Overlord Kyubey did the robot with killer robots before exploding FABULOUSLY!!!

So Kyubey returned and died horribly only to return and die again before again returning to analrape Selrahc. That was when Selrahc began enjoying chocolate pudding cups and anal rap. This made Broderick jizz his pants until he saw a tasty anus to analrape with his analraping stick which suddenly transformed into Charles Manson who proceeded to Analrape Broderick Ironically with his mind powers of analrapery causing the universe to epically implode for three seconds.

Then, Hideo Kojima was slapped with Toutaku's panties before suddenly dying of testicular meningitis. Then Charlotte the witch and Monica the raspberry cheesecake battled each other until Charlotte ate Monica very very sexily. This inadvertently caused Charlotta Martynson to make out with Eirwen, Nira and Leandra while Wren received oral sex from Un and Broderick, who then was tied up and hurled off a mountain; afterward three million pies were given popsicles to suck erotically. This greatly aroused Phil and Toutaku, who decided to jump right in and find pies sucking on pies with which to lead the revolution to overthrow the Reptilian Sex Cyborgs who had stolen the shield made of plastic belonging to Toutaku's pet Pie Empress, Azalea who was kidnapped by the evil Emperor, Josef Stalin and were married. but Stalin died. Zombie Stalin then started "Pie Hunting but then the mermaids went to school in Africa where they were taken from the Forbidden Forest where evil unicorns attacked themselves while drunk off cat nip.

This made Hitler fear his moustache which was involved in child trafficking and illegal zebra tap dancing schools. Meanwhile in Finland, the Spanish attacked! No one expects the real villain to be Kyubey! This caused a vast pie shortage which depraved Yahtzee of sexy sexiness causing him to rape a sheep and absorb energy from the sun to fuel his sandwich shop, where he made nuclear warheads for his Kyubey, who fired them at Rabakurafuto's favorite meteor because Charles Manson demanded pie. However, Jesus decapitated him and declared himself king of the juice which angered Hitler who likes grape Kool-Aid and fried chicken and watermelon because he's secretly driving a cadillac and likes shouting at his spinnerz. Meanwhile, magical unicorns raped Kyubey's penis monster, who was evil and raped himself violently, causing the scared vagina to spontaneously combust.

And then, thousands of Kyubey clones all died horribly and ate themselves before building a giant satellite cannon which he used to destroy earth but a new movement emerged, causing Jesus to dance the hokey pokey backwards while singing "We Are Family" and playing a African Djembe drum. This made Satan grab his Maracas and shove them in funky patterns deep into the Rectum of Superman who suddenly decided he had constipation. That was when Batman and the joker had a Lovely, comforting hug causing heart explosions in baby dolphins. And the universe then got conquered by the Purple Kyubey clones who made of Kool-Aid and had afros all played basketball and loved to eat fried chicken in the hood. They then said: "Yo motherfucker, what up in da hood wit you skanky ass hoes. Shit, bitch, you motherfucking let snakes on this plane!" Kyuubey Nigga Pants suddenly decided to grab a watermelon. The watermelon suddenly gushed malt liquor, murdered some children, wore baggy pants, and did cocaine. It then exploded.

That was when Grigori Yefimovitch Rasputin dyed his skin deep purple, meaning to ward off a sandwich chef called Pepe Morrison. Who masturbated with a talking trout with fourteen fins. Magneto attacked the local sperm bank because he wanted to find the cheese sandwiches made of sperm and human souls collected in his bank by overweight salesman in a small clown car who had a pie eating contest with Naruto, Natsu, and Eucliwood Hellscythe. The winner was Kyubey because he's awesome and made witches from young girls and women alike.

The universe imploded but Kyubey rebuilt before getting decapitated and being reborn. Kyubey died again but came back and died again and then lived and conquered all. but Kyubey died as was obvious Kyubey rose again and sent his robot minions to be destroyed by Selrahc the destroyed. But Selrahc failed then Time Wizard by William Shatner and Fuckslayer. This caused two naked pies to furiously masturbated and moan loudly while Kyubey observed making them Mahou from his Deathstar. Darth Vader died when Kyubey murdered himself, causing massive Rape Ape breeding until Kyubey revived and decapitated himself making pies dance to revive him. That didn't happen in alternate realities.

The Slender Man was Charlie Sheen who raped every porn star from the 1980'2 and the 2360's before turning into a singing yellow ferret called Boris Johnson. Then, Harry Potter killed the fuck out of Mercury before Kyubey unleashed his oversized penis on Broderick and raped him anally. Boris Johnson escaped to Belgium, where every penis monster were filming midgets on cocaine. Maybe then Barack Obama would finally realise that he's black and likes chicken.

Suddenly, zombies swarmed Harvy Nakagawaand Jesus Christ, but Jesus used his mind rape powers to explode German forces with cheeseburgers made of chocolate and jalapeno humus sold by gypsies with three breasts who worship chickens and hunky transvestites. Suddenly, a mime talked making the penis of God exploded into pieces of chocolate candy which Tay Zonday devoured hastily and sang about while Soviet troops with no pants raped pies which angered Zeus and his many penises, which shot lightning everywhere. This caused severe pudding drainage problems on Mars where brave little toasters were compacted by giant brain-washed slugs.

Ultimate, Darth Vader vanquished all with his penis lazer, defeating the Walpurgis Night's grandmother, who ate Kyubey, destroying him only momentarily. The Shape-Shifting Gods ate sandwiches made from Kyubey leftovers then they died from sheer awesome evil power and mahou shoujo might! Kyubey thus revived forming thousands of SUPER MEGA KYUBEYS which raped children and Broderick the Analrapist, who had wandered in by accident after being released by the tentacle beasts from The Great Abyss who went shopping at the GAP where they bought all sorts of shoes, purses and other seemingly cheap deadly weapons because Mauls are fun.

This inevitably caused the police to rape a poodle with over-sized batons shaped like penises. But the butterflies rebelled, causing mass racis in New Jersey against the cannibal Nazi zombies but Dempesy killed the last unicorn making the powerpuff girls eviscerate squirrels which exploded into fairy dust which made Donkey fly into the sun burning his ass. It was decided that Poland was imaginary, so the Germans and Russians got drunk and spat all over the corpse of Montezuma, causing outrage amongst the manatees who then plotted to overthrow Jesus and install the penises into a gargantuan penile facility that then exploded in a splash of sudden intense pure orgasmic energy, that caused everyone to die horribly.

However, Kyubey survived to build a evil doomsday machine only to be crowned divine ruler of Shit Land, and the universe. But then, the witches attacked Mami but not before Homura stopped them and destroyed them with heavy explosives from her uterus. Then the birds attacked James Nguyen before exploding into flames due to their gasoline tanks being disturbed by the tentacle monster causing their self-destruction. Al Gore was defeated by Global Cooling related disasters and ice cream loving serial killers who accosted him for being a suit wearing bottle.

Suddenly, Chuck Norris bathed in blood from his enemies before rapping about ice cream cake and golden showers. This greatly confused Rebecca Black who didn't know which item was was better tasting, cereal or baked salad so she decided to sing awesomely about fun fun fun. This made Kyubey dance joyfully while playing spin the decapitated head of Morgan Freeman, who played pool with Clint Eastwood and Hitler's ash tray which spontaneously exploded freeing Jews from second hand smoke and scorching brimstone.

Unfortunately, there were Dead unicorns everywhere which became zombies of the rainbow. They then attacked the soaring whale with assault rifles and missed horribly because the whale had a burrito cannon which is used for banana pudding distribution in Fiji, causing uproar amongst the goats and the Greeks. A penis monster attacked the Greeks with its vagina called Herbert Norrington but this unexpectedly called the Nazis but hung up all their jackets and raped dogs in time to funky techno music. Which was really kind of unusual before the masses of pineapples sabotaged the Trojan Horse with thousands of Flying Mouse Cacti that explode when sent to Hell where Satan was drinking strawberry daiquiris with his friend Hitler's Moustache, when suddenly the pants the moustache was having intercourse with exploded into unicorns made of cheese and pretzel M&Ms which all raped made of glitter Stardust unicorn surprise.

In space, a Decepticaon farted space-gas then died of space gas poisoning. No one cared enough to dance. However, Barack Obama erected a shrine in his pants which Ron Weasley brutally destroyed with Groinsaws and fuckfire but Harry Potter and Fuckslayer ate his eyes and face. Then, mosquitoes laid eggs in Ginny's decaying womb while Draco Malfoy was decapitated by Volxemort and da Death Dealers. That made Ebony Way kill herself with a steak and five million bees flew out of her buttocks, causing Jesus to sing "Alejandro" by Lady Agag who is really drunk and nonexistent.

However, in outer space, KATZ exploded, causing the people who set tables to spontaneously scream "ALL YOUR NUTS ARE SMASHED! AND INCINERATED!" Then Sayaka Miki was kissed by Haseo until both were incinerated by Kyubey causing the pies to rebel against their baker, using swords and guns made of fruit. But the dragons sent text messages to advance their favorite reality television before plotting their vacation plans with Erza and Kallen, which were awesome.

Then Kyubey decapitated them squirrels, which was horrendous, but no zombies were involved which gave relief to Satan, who wanted Hitler for his personal chef but the reptilian sex cyborgs molested rainbow waterfalls, angering Godzilla who rampaged all over Mississippi on his unicycle of destruction and happy bunnies, which caused Kyubey to massacre puppies. Somewhere in the forbidden forest, Ebony and Volzemoat and the deth dealerz were smokin krack anz havign sexx! This cauzed outrag anogzt Goffs everywhere, leading to goffic rebellions in Draco's pants.
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