Glorious Escapism Roleplay

SimplyRed

This is the first 10 pages of the three word post story. Now see what horror you've unleashed!!! Twisted Evil

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One day a magical wooden spoon Decided it wanted to become president. But the only one who supported it was the inventor of the nonstick cooking pans. Therefore the spoon used it's power of telekinesis to rip it's opposition's faces off, causing massive job opportunity for motorcycle mutants who were hired to collect orphans for rape parties held by the Anal Fire Dragon. But trouble was inevitable, as the Taoist immortals ate all of Mexico and San Antonio.

As the election ended in flames caused by the moral decay of the fairy kingdom Exquisite Sovereign Aizen Began to masturbate to pie porn and vomit erotica. While the gigantic shit weasels rampaged, the zombie army without mercy until, "Oh no!" said Zombie Hitler, who Cared deeply for plum preserves that were made by the Magic wooden.

Spoon's evil pet the collossal squid eating tentacle monster peach dog Puusuke who rapes children and breathes Calpis. Meanwhile, a magical totem pole dolphin was discovered by Lelouch vi Britannia after he was made fun of by talking grapes who told him He's the only stoney-hearted villain who is able to turn ordinary cupcakes into golden cupcakes, except with explosives inside them that detonate bears causing the destruction to old people.

Therefore, pies were safe, until the Emperor of Pants founded pie Jail and ordered that they work on A pointless monument to zebra crossings as punishment for not looking when the oversized walrus ate every taco.

A Sheep walks suddenly from the World of Darkness into the world of Eternal Pie. A poisons magic transforms the cantaloupe into robot maids who had sex with calico catgirls for five hours in a U.F.O. that was headed to planet M2 where the alien metal grew a weapon of mass disappointment, giant green slime beasts and moon potato men.

"Gee, this election is a joke” said Jesus, who lived in trash city, with a broken jackhammer and a talking zebra which puked up a cursed sword and purple flying invisible unicorn named Habeeb It, and it flew magnificently to Spain, where until it got mugged.

It lived in a trash can, where it ate pygmies with two rabid dogs and a sword in its throat. Meanwhile, in Canada Satan and Kokoro were baking cupcakes and poison cookies to give to Qayqui and Rubihatsu who were having pies with cake and ice cream sandwiches and a sponge at their party.

Meanwhile, Sagittarius the immortal goat was eating the sacred pants of the Emperor of Pants which caused the massive genocide of all the world's pies, thus making shota the alternative punching bag for the new pies. Thus the evil anal fire dragon was destroyed by Ten Exquisite Sovereigns.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!
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Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:21 am Post subject:

Pure awesomeness. However by its nature I think this is a collaborative work and belongs more there.
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Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:39 pm Post subject:

Now to continue this story. Here are the next thirty pages (and the first two posts of page 41, so it has a clean ending). I kept grammar as we had it in the posts rather than fixing it up. Wasn't sure I was supposed to.

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...who then proceeded to dance excitedly to clone it before the chaotic Pleine Lune rebels go shopping for moon cakes and penis enlargement pills to help with their plan to fly to Jupiter and destroy the Flying Spaghetti Monster thus the monkeys sent Santa Claus to his death by removing his sleigh from the control, causing him to turn into Acropolis in the particle storm, but then violently explode into vicious spiders that sing about the flying snakes who eat God because they need and defecate Communism simultaneously. But then, Tomo Yamanobe cried because Mafuyu Oribe got shot by Joesph Stalin's ghost and thus he was defeated by Ekaterina Kurae and then she was praised everywhere.

Meanwhile, the ninjas plan weddings for influential visitors from Neptune who came to destroy Ekaterina Kurae with Søren Kierkegaard's tombstone and then failed. Therefore the power of Deifilia evaporated like steam when she gave rude gestures at the Prince of Pants, who used Arizona, Nigel Tafion and James LeBron to transform Deifilia into pieces of Tsukuyomi, moon deity which were collected and stored in Alfea Fairy School where the hobgoblins ate witches, but the stardust angels cannibalized one another which caused the galaxy to implode.

However, it was saved by the benevolent pie queen of the land of Rêveam, but killer cyborg gorillas were not saved because they destroyed Mt. Olympus with a giant laser built by Sasquatch, but the Centaurs decided to rape orange female goblins with their shovels.

"Oh yeah baby!" said the evil Char'blong from Nezarath watching excitedly and blew into chunks of zombie flesh that spread disease to the children involving foot rot and cardiac arrest Then, suddenly the fisting robot said "I will exterminate the pirates of the internet with Pocky and apples."

So he constructed a soup laucher for Shinra's Industrial music album, entitled Am I Hungry? which sold millions. Palmer provided vocals and everything else fell into ruin because there was no sanctity upon the pants of the mother of Hell and bugs who sent a giant Assassin Bug to kill Yixinglong and Tiger Woods because they have defeated Penguin Princess who lived in a dilapidated warehouse in Luanda, Angola where swamps formed a giant monster that killed many overweight zebra farmers with a bazooka so athletes rebelled and overthrew the Emperor of Pants for stealing pants and many pies from Barack Obama because the pants were really stylish and the cheese delicious.

Thus the pink pie pants fire eating marshmallows and ravenous, radioactive Capital Wasteland Radscorpians played frisbee with pieces of shrapnel that explode when the Rajput Warriors eat ice cream and butcher evil lawn furniture with pandas and dolphins who cough up an entire city owned by RoboCop but the screaming vegetable man brought the Toxic Avenger there to meet Barack Huessein Obama for pudding snacks But then the Aliens from Planet Mau, Tin Nyanko and the Pope played card games before dying of malignant butt rot Meanwhile, the Kalakalaks exploded, causing the universe to implode circus to fall and the sentence for this was went straight and collapsed in feces Thus dragons came from Hell, and Chicago to conquer the Kremlin!

Then, tacos were given explosives and they ate them greedily which blew them down. Meanwhile, Dracula was raped by himself because he was narcissistic and intoxicated. But then, it became evident that God was making Dracula burn his own dick with a flamethrower and he screamed the lyrics to "Telephone" by Lady Macbeth.

It was an epic failure but that didn't stop the Mongolians from feasting on pie queens. Then pies murdered them and they celebrated by ritualistically mutilating themselves with guns in their daydreams Except it was real. And then it wasn't.

Meanwhile the ninjas attacked Darth Vader and Shao Khan, but no one cared. It was faked by Nazi elves who were shot by Tom Cruise before getting shot by two hundred pirates from Somalia However, a zombie got sliced by complete dismemberment and explosions in Hell and Satan died of throat cancer Meanwhile, the super gigantic tentacle beast was killed by Samuel L. Jackson because he's badass and so he killed more zombies and also a giant Kraken with a gigantic badass club with spikes Suddenly Samuel L. was made king of the world and declared that all pies are fair game hunting. But they escaped.

Meanwhile, cyborg gorillas beat up goats and destroy Moscow with knives. Thus the Supper Happy Loch Ness Monster was killed by ordinary plastic knives It took time Meanwhile, the screeching eggplant invested in Chinese Checkers and Special Olympics, which were held by The Ku Klux Circle and Proctor who was a sheet rock corporation and gold conglomerate run by Hitler and his brother Timmy, who is inclined to always say he's his an autistic musician and a werewolf As the sun and the moon shrunk down to the size of five peaches, but then they exploded making tasty mush out of the Kamen Saber Knightcycle which was eaten Like a little taco.

Meanwhile, ninjas acted out the play, "Macbeth", while sexy lesbian catgirls suckled on each milking teat hotly before they used giant sex toys to pleasure themselves excitedly. Then the Death Star fired, and malfunctioned, causing a giant explosion to not happen but it did make ice cream and it made antelopes eat babies but the antelopes were enslaved by the survivors of Tomo Yamanobe's massacre therefore the Pakistanis ate rice with Flaming Hot Cheetos that made them dance the tango badly but memorably but then, giant dwarves attacked an Allosaurus, thus the Octopus king built The second largest Cuntam Robo to get destroyed by irate Mexican workers protesting pillow taxes Meanwhile, flying tanks transform into goldfish and serve dolphins spaghetti made from hornet honey and toothpaste, because the termite honey was used by elves and killer potatoes to murder tigers but the tigers fought with claymores and shield generators to go to war with hobos from New Zealand.

Meanwhile, the Russians launched the nukes at Canada because they stole all their vodka. But, the king of Paraguay raised shields made of cardboard to deflect them but it failed. But Mexico activated its credit card to buy a thousand camels to destroy Moscow using their souls as energy for their sacrifice to Cthulu their ultimate superweapon who betrayed them and killed everything causing the fall of the great Pants Empire. But suicide bombers from Popsicle mountain invented stupidity for squirrels which lead to bombings en masse targeting Tiger Woods and Justin Beiber who was crowned Douchebag of France by Kanye West who was shot by spined elephants.

That was when the laser crabs carved pineapples into St. Louis, Missouri then burned it with lighters. Meanwhile, zombie Jesus was killed again and resurrected as a destroyer cyborg who kicked old people before getting shot up on heroin and going berserk resulting in the destruction of China's entire hamster population and cupcakes. However, Charlie the Unicorn had his brain enhanced by magic before exploding into song and dance but then, Martians went to France to kill all the garden gnomes in the vicinity of the magical force field.

But William Shakespeare stabbed Ryan Seacrest with a massive plastic sword and shot himself repeatedly until the assassins from New Jersey sold a giant laser to themselves for five trillion dollars because they're stupid. Meanwhile, the cookies were eaten by the elephants from Dracula's castle where he was burned by the stove and was eaten by Abraham Lincoln before he grabbed a waffle iron and burned his donkey's face off before eating it.

Then Rin Tohsaka shot Illya with a toy gun but then the Holy Grail War destroyed them all emotionally, until recovery Meanwhile, the turtles were murdered gruesomely in their dreams and while awake But mostly asleep. Therefore the miniature Illyas were smashed by Illya herself before dying of AIDS, which was awesome. Then the Huns descended upon France, causing massive magical power to find the Holy awesome power of the sword of the great wizard's shamboozle face. Then, Illya was revived.
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Selrahc · Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 10:40 pm Post subject:

Okay, so this is the next 9 or 10 pages (I don't know for sure, so I'll stop around page 50 or if there's a period to stop the sentence before or after).

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But then, Katherine raped her senseless before getting killed for it. "So yeah. Now what?" the sniper teams said as they shot Katja dead. But they did, but they didn't. But they did, in their imaginations. And for real. "My ass needs to be penetrated" said the Castro on Cuba, but a giant walrus killed Katja. Then it revived her. And then, ninjas were killed by spikes. But then, Alexander the Great killed Katja permanently, in his mind, and for real, but she returned.

And then, dinosaurs ruled the Earth, but died from nuclear weapons. Thus the Martians fled to Toronto where they were shot by political activists, but the Martians cried, "I have abandoned my boy!" so they went to Jamaica to invent robot spoons that shoot cookies into the volcano in Mexico, causing untold destruction to them, thus allowing ninja Jesus to infiltrate Mexico City and murder a tortilla cart pusher because he was a double agent for pirate Satan.

Meanwhile, the enchanted paperclip was discovered in Peru, but no one cared, but then the cast of Twilight died horribly, and painfully when the plane they were on transformed into Megatron, then he sent them to the Mariana Trench where they were crushed by his giant grapefruit cannon. Everyone rejoiced except Hitler and Satan, who liked Twilight, because its evil and obscene, like eating babies. Thus, Satan burned the toast he was making for Kristen Steward and Robert Pattinson. Meanwhile, Stephanie Meyer is tortured with scalpels and chainsaws on fire before being burned until nothing remained.

Meanwhile, the cops were beating the businessmen with baseball caps, which didn't hurt much until random explosions occurred in Detroit, Michigan, where the dragon woke up and went fishing with Michael Jackson's ghost which decided to sing "Thriller" until his head exploded from joy, but then the zombie Muhammad attacked Mecca where he battled Grand Ayatollah Khamenei until Spider-Man arrived and saved Mary and Jesus from the apocalyptic battle over Tiger Woods' harem of hookers.

But then Nazis battled Iraqis, who were really robots designed for dancing and murder. But the United States of Japan was taking Sakhalin Island because they wanted more Sakuradite and slave labor. Therefore, the Chinese Federation went to war to protect pies from the evil Britannian-sponsored Russian Knightmare Frame named Katherine, which destroyed all the boats before engaging in combat with the Guren S.E.I.T.E.N.S., ending in Kallen Kozuki's victory.

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Okay, this is a good place to stop. I ended at the beginning of page 50. And, Christ, that was a fucking roller-coaster, especially at the beginnning of this passage due to my power trip that day.

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 11:37 pm Post subject:

Up to the first few posts on 61 now. Some of my favorite posts here as the story takes us to Hell, The Room and Star Wars.

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But then, the Invisible Pink Unicorn shot rainbow beams at North Korea killing Kim Jong Il and causing re-ignition of the Great Unicorn War resulting in mass destruction of trees. Meanwhile, wildfires broke out in Hell causing Satan to get the fire buckets and then put out the fires, only for the fire monster to attack Satan and kill his pet dog, Cerberus which made Satan very, very angry. so he hired Hades to go to Wisconsin and kill the monster with the help of a forged signature of Jesus but then Jesus got pissed and sent the sun into Hell.

Then, "Oh hi Mark!" said Johnny as Mark came in.

"Hey Johnny!" said Mark. "Want to toss the ball around?"

Then Denny came in and said, "Oh hi guys!" and joined n. "I'm on drugs." he said

"WHAT KIND OF DRUGS, DENNY?!" yelled Lisa,

"Oh hi Lisa!" said Johnny. "I did not hit you! YOU LIE, it's bullshit, YOU'RE TEARING ME APART!!!!!, Oh hi Mark. How's your sex life?" said Johnny. Then Mark started making out with Lisa. "You my future wife You betray me!

And then, Mark tossed the football at Johnny's head but Denny intervened and got hit Then Chris-R appeared and kicked Mark before shooting everyone and screaming, "I want my money!"

But then, Sally transformed into Godzilla and stomped on Michelle's boyfriend Mike and then, the Doggy is revealed to be Chuck Norris, who defeats Sally with a roundhouse kick, saving Michelle from death but not Peter Griffin because he's unimportant. Thus Christmas is celebrated 365 by Tommy Wiseau

Therefore, the magical sandwich was prepared for the king of Popsicle Mountain but the sandwich was eaten by The Emperor of BP. This Caused World War III to start, sending zombie dragons to destroy and decay the Pants Empire and the entire continent of Europe, meanwhile the goats invaded Russia and won by knocking up Margaret Thatcher and giving her AIDs, Syphilis, Herpes and 5,000,000 dollars.

And then, the Great Moogle Emprire went to war Against Ling Xiaoyu. But then, the Death Star was fully operational, causing the Empire to destroy the rebellion explode in ecstasy Except Luke, who was captured by Darth Vader, but too bad because Ewoks came to dry hump the the fucking rescue! Then, Lando Calrissian tried to save Han Solo from certain doom at the hands of Han Solo. Which made Chewbaccca and Darth Vader kick Jar Jar Binks "Ow, mesa like boom-boom!" before Jar Jar could escape he was strangled to death by C-3PO and R2-D2.

Meanwhile, the Jedi Council was being massacred by a redneck armed with rusty knives and a plastic leg. "The South will rise again!" He cried as he shot Yoda Yoda's dying breath was, "Dying, I am, but suck you do, die you will.

There was a flash in the Force The Redneck's head was impaled by his own dick. And then, Mace Windu was badass and killed Palpatine and Jar jar with a spoon.
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SimplyRed · Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 12:09 am Post subject:

That is my favorite chapter by far. Thanks for continuing to post it, now it feels like a team effort!
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Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 12:23 am Post subject:

Yes. Is awesome. Probably my favorite bit too.

And it's too much for one person to post all the story on their own; stepping in seemed like the right thing to do.
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Selrahc · Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:11 pm Post subject:

'll be the third vote then. That is one of the most epic chapters yet.

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:21 am Post subject:

Another 20 or so pages, going up to the the first few posts on 80.

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But Riddick killed himself. Thus the magical unicorn died of lead poisoning Meanwhile, the goblins from Nilbog ate Chikabog meat that was vegetarian. Then something scary happened. Because Satan crushed Creedence Leonore Gielgud's Stonehenge Magic Stone with Grandpa Seth's giant spinning axe and molotov cocktail but then, Elliot was beaten up before Holly arrives and beats him up because she thinks he's gay but then, Creedence had corn sex before turning Arnold into a tree before Drew arrives and is fed to vegetarian goblins Meanwhile, Joshua is talking to Seth who stops time to tell Joshua to piss on the food, angering his dad, who will not eat

"You can't piss on the food I won't alllow you to leave" Thus the Goblins came in, chasing Joshua, so he he tries to destroy them with a Molotov Cocktail and double-decker bologna before he and everyone touched the Stonehenge Magic Stone and destroyed the goblins and Creedence. But his mom got killed when goblins ate her.

Suddenly, Illya von Einzbern had sex with Rin Tohkasa and Sakura Matou which ended very sexily when Saber broke in and joined them. They had a sexy time together and that was when they all came. But then, Rider arrived and was Attacked by mongooses very angry, but then the mongooses were killed and became sexy ghosts.

Then, Tiger Woods golfed for Pakistahn and then the Masturbating Priest Patrol was sent to Ugoslavia to masturbate in front of innocent little girls who start to become less innocent and rape each other, hard and sexy with toys like teddy bears and giant dildos shaped like Phil the Time Wizard's Hot Little Sister Then the giant Tyrannosaurus Rex ate a pie's dog before getting smashed by the pie's pet Spinosaurus, which was named Happy but then, a sexy bunny girl got shot, killing herself and her girlfriend, Truffles, who worked for the CIA.

Then, the Government sent the Secret Service, who infiltrated the North Korean government, but the Easter bunny killed everything. But Then the evil monkey ninjas from Taco Island built a laser cannon which they used to destroy Morocco and Candy Land but then, the beautiful magic fairy destroyed the cannon with nuclear weapons and her breasts. But then the monkey ninjas raped each other violently. Which caused Johnny Carson to declare, "I did not have sexual relations with this woman."

but then the Martians from Saturn fought the Saturnian Which created a massive intergalactic war for the last deposits of methane in Canada. But the Saturians deployed twenty rabid dogs to secure the sandwiches made by Mexican President Felipe Calderon who has genital herpes and an awesome cupcake hat. And then the sexy ninja girls killed him because they like to go fuck giant tentacle monsters.

Suddenly, giant eagles ate Mexicans from the sky, causing the Unicorn slayer to shoot a zombie wizard named Bob the Builder who was imprisoned by the former Emperor of Pants, the Right Reverand Eldrick Tont Woods The thirty first master of the Shaolin panty thievery technique. But then. Sean Connery insisted that the Nazis all ate salad that was made of cyanide boogers and cheddar cheese with hydrochloric acid Thus they all died horribly and Lady Gaga was dancing on their giant battleship called the Bismarck before murdering two hundred Nazi sailors with her singing and crazy dancing.

Then flaming trees attacked and killed millions of yetis in the Himalayas, thus the yeti king and his army attacked the trees and won using giant robots. But the Saturians returned and mutilated the humans captured during their raid on British Columbia's coast. Then Obama decided to take over the entire world so that he could become king of the world. and force everyone to kiss his alien tentacle monster. who will then rape God with its tentacles that contain toxic fluid and could kill a walrus easily.

Thus, when the Orcs of Glendale attack the Elves of Planet Hollywood. "Weird Al" Yankovic kicked major ass with his accordion and flaming golf clubs which he stole from Tiger Woods who is a cheating asshole and powerful wizard who seduces lots of pies with his manly legs and demonic servants that eat sheep herders whole. Thus the coalition of the Mudkipz attacked like a swarm of angry hornets and destroyed all Pokemon with their submachine guns and rocket launchers, thus the Mudkips conquered and were victorious.

That was when the Neptunians attacked the moon with lasers and missiles but Santa Claus saved the Moon with his vampire mistress whose name is Michelle Obama But then, Yahtzee Croshaw stopped the vampire mistress with his imp army and kickass weapons Thus a pie kicked major ass in her robotic mecha which was shaped like a giant dildo.

But then Selrahc decided to destroy the pie shop by shooting missiles at the sun while Phil the Time Rapist Donkey stabs Rabakurafuto in the elbow with chopsticks and steak knives that are dulled with pencil shavings But then Toutaku shot the moon sage because he tried to kill sexy pies. But then, Phil the dentist tried to kill Selrahc, which didn't work because I killed him.
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Selrahc · Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 8:07 pm Post subject:

I was going to do it all the way to page 100, but it's almost time for brunch so I'll have to cut it to the first few posts of Page 84.

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But then the monkeys from Tibet raped the corpse of Santa Claus who was killed by the tiny gnomes from Alabama and fire ants from South Dakota. And then, the giant sand worm, named Jimmy, ate the Pope because the Pope tried to spy on the ritual dance of the pie lesbian tribes. But monstrous dragon beasts kicked major ass when it played Super Smash Bros. with a tree and a mountain made of fruit.

And then, an octopus monster went on a rampage in San Diego, but then the Pope's cat used Fury Swipes, and clawed the face of the monster, then someone else hacked it tentacles off with a giant fucking axe made of plastic, killing the octopus and saving the city. But then, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia died of AIDS after she had sex with Vampire, Draco, and Volxemort, but they died so Dumblydore yelled, "What are you doing you motherfukers!!!!1111" but then Snake and Loopin masticated and ate popcorn while Tara Gilebsie and Raven died.

SimplyRed · Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:02 am Post subject:

From page 84 to 100. (I saw the word “thus” so many times I was going crazy!)

Thus My Immortal was destroyed, to prevent the destruction of humanity because of unholy magic and dirty dealings between Stephanie Meyer and Satan. Thus the two went to Hell to exchange cake recipes and ways to brainwash little girls into liking shit like Twilight. Thus the world collapsed and everyone died. But then, the Beatles restored everything with their awesome musical powers which brought the world stability and happiness.

And thus, the zombie army was put to rest by cat-girl ninjas who slayed them with interpretive dance and meditation. But the squid monster colonies were destroyed by asteroids and firecrackers, thus the Mexican Navy was spinning in circles trying to decide where to go fishing that summer for giant salmon and ice cream. But then, giant single-celled organisms attacked with brute force and destroyed Wahsington. So Robert E. Lee lead the four horsemen of the apocalypse to go get shitfaced. That was when Cthulu shot a poodle named Skippy into the Earth to battle Satan's demon armies so with a spoon.

Cthulu cut Satan's penis off and killed him with a rubber mallet and so, Cthulu conquered Hell. But the monkey of Popsicle mountain stole Cthulu's spoon and used it to cut the Emperor of Pants' left arm off, and then his right arm, then his head. But this caused uproar in Kentucky where a giant missile launcher was dismantled by the Brazilian Navy. Then Jesus killed his evil clone because he tried to ally with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong Il. But then the arctic seals of Zimbabwe attacked Peru with war clubs and sand paper.

But then, the mongoose king sent the Greeks weapons and sandwiches made by the Swiss out of walrus meat and giant muffins baked by the Vietnamese. But Hildegarde Von Krone was sexy and killed the fuckin legions of evil Sexy pie Hitlers who had conquered all of the taco stands in Dick van Dyke's space station, which has no giraffes on board because they got eaten by bears that had names like: Will Smith, Stephen Fry, Walter Kovacks, Oprah Winfrey, Bob the Builder, George Harrison, Paul McCartney And John Lennon. But Ringo Starr was not invited.

This was because the gods decided he was not fit enough to become a bear. Anal Fire Dragons then attacked the Ural Mountains with giant cakes and spiny anteaters. Then Justin Bieber was killed by impalement after he was singing in Brasilia. That was when Zombie Vlad III raped the Canadian Just Beiber fangirls because they were stupid, crazy, and not very sexy. And then, Vlad went shopping for giant wooden stakes to build a humongous giant spike fence, to keep Justin Beiber fans off his lawn

but then, Hannibal decided to kill lots of Justin Bieber look-alikes because they're stupid and look like Justin but then, Kazakhs went bowling with the Italians for pies. Thus the Kenyans won, which caused Hillary Clinton to declare war on Santa Claus because Santa Claus is an evil conniving bastard who murdered his own son and wife with a shovel. But then, Yahtzee Croshaw ordered a ion cannon strike on Pizza Hut because they ripped him off and killed his imps with a giant gatling cannon, so the Jedi council was ordered to buy cupcakes from Yahtzee before they could kill the Pizza Hut personnel with explosive knives. and antipersonnel mines.

But then Jesus died and then Zombie Jesus rose and used katars to murder the Death Dealers, who were sent by Vloxemort who speaks in old English very horribly, and tells Ebony to kill Vampire or he'll kill Draco and he revealed he has telekinesis. And then, Draco found out and he slit his wrists. So Ebony cried and slit her wrists before Tara called everyone stupid foking prepz and gay fags Then Vampire had sex with Draco while Snap and Lupin masticated while Ebony showered and she screamed.

But Dumblydore showed up and yelled, "You DON'T HAVE ANY!" but then, Darkness and Willow came.

And then!, the MCR concert was canceled because MCR got gang raped by Volsemort and Harry "Vampire" Potter and then, the Massive Erect Penile penis savagely raped Bert and Ernie because they were responsible for the Death of Punk when they started to eat pies made out of Men's dangly bits And so the Terrifying pie Army went camping in The Congo forest where the king of Belgium died in a fire because a fuel tanker exploded when he was at Burger King with a flammable box which he threw into a fire…
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Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:24 am Post subject:

Awesome. I think I'll try and cut back on thus then.
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Selrahc · Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:58 am Post subject:

Okay, from pages 101 to somewhere in page 113.

~~~

...Along with some kerosene soaked bombs. Thus the zombies all burned to death and Hitler died, but came back as a hybrid zombie alien robot dinosaur who faced mutant vampire unicorns named Jeebus, Mongul, Reevus, and Steve. Thus the unicorns won and banished Hitler to Hell forever.

But he escaped and joined with Darth Vader, Stalin, and Nero to form an evil group called the Fluffy Bunny Huggers. That was when the monkeys from New Jersey attacked the monkeys from Magic Fairy Land, but the commandos of the Unicorn Mountain killed all the monkeys with giant laser cannons and blueberry pie. But then the pirates from Cambodia kidnapped the leader of Singapore to piss off the world, which responded by selling Africa to the Canadians for a new United States of France. Which was for the Quebecois sheep farmers and criminals, so that Satanic priests would dance and kill the Illuminati and undead pirates with dance pop and Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.

But the price was death at the hands of Biffo who was a dancing clown slash convicted child rapist. Biffo's crime spree continued when he recently kidnapped the prime minister of Popsicle Mountain. This upset the unicorns of the suger cube fields who were allies of Popsicle Mountain's pies. So a bounty of 50,000 cupcakes was placed on the clown.

That had raped several pies and unicorns and possible the pie being served at his birthday.

So then the pie-corn alliance hired dark wizards to cast a curse upon Biffo that made his penis a balloon. But Biffo had a second penis that was blessed by Tom Cruise and Xenu which meant that pies would be given as a Trojan horse to the dirty clown. It then exploded and spewed candy from inside, out on all the pies but it was actually just puss so the pies meet with the anal fire dragons who sympathized with with the pies. But Biffo had Satan on his payroll, so this started a war between Hell and the Anal Fire Dragon Super Knights resulting in the severe anal rape of the demons and the pies, but the unicorns did not approve and attacked the severe anal rapists, killing them violently. The people rejoiced.

But it caused massive explosions and the end of all life, except Nicholas Cage and Willie Nelson. However, everyone else revived by the seven dwarves and the seven dragon balls both of which were key in triggering the rise of Biffo's son Dwayne Johnson, who could summon up the hatred of the surviving cast of everything he's touched for the entirety of his natural life in just seconds, and in Spanish. From then on, the the pie queen was ruler of her room.

Popsicle factories are important according to Phil's pie harem. But the Almighty Peanut Cannon was fired into Serlahc's anus while the pies invaded his room and took all his pornography so that they can have sex with each other. Suddenly Toutaku became the victim of rape and sexual abuse by pies because he tormented their kittens, but the Shiny Dragon Egg was stolen.

At the time, the Anal Fire Monkeys were created by no one but Phil the Time Rapist Donkey but the Rajputs conquered all of New Jersey because they needed more curry for their salsas, thus the Hilton sisters were assassinated by James the old dude.

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This is horror, oh the horror! But we're almost caught up to the sentence thread! Keep it up!

Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:06 am Post subject:

Awesome. I'll probably do the rest after have a bit more (as in, after we conclude the Full Life Consequences episode)
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Phil the Time Wizard · Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 9:54 am Post subject:

Here we have the rest so far, up to the first post on page 130.

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Then, the nomads kidnapped the king of Spain, causing Jesus to go berserk and kill the president of Ghana, sparking the Zombie Civil War. But then, Samuel Adams was revived and he fought in the new Korean Defense Forces along with Paul Goldman who wanted to discover the Ancient Skull of Merlin. But it ended up getting stolen by Hitler and Darth Vader who are the evil generals of the Evil Empire.

And then, the pie queen sent pie knights riding unicorns to find the magical pie and stop the humens, who were being controlled by the evil Combine So John Freeman flew around like airplane and killed many Combines and final boss, but the Dark Man killed Gordon Freeman and put Combine on face so Gordon Freeman got made Headcrab zombie. But then, Combines attacked Henry Freeman and the humens killing John Freeman's wife when she protect Henry Freeman from evil Combine attack.

So John Freeman said to combines: "COMBINES YOU KILLED WIFE?"

and Dark man say, "Yes John Freeman, Henry Freemans mom got shot in head"

John Freeman said, "you will suffar Dark Man!" and then jumped in to sky and kicked Dark Man and mask and it showed ugly Combine face but also something like humen tooo.

And then, Henry Freeman throwed granaid at the Combines while John Freeman said to John Freeman, "I have to kill fast and bullets too slow!" So John Freeman started killing with his bear Called Isaac Cox and his hands.

Then Henry Freeman fought Combines with bullets and bombs but John Freeman said, "No, son! Take humens to place away from city! Its time I have to kill the enemys and make evil go away from here forrest of time!"

But Henry Freeman said, "Dad humens have to fight for freedome!"

Then the dark man said, "John you let next boss step on me and made me crabhead zombie. Combines came and put science in me and made me strong and big now I turn you and Henry Freeman headcrab zombies!"

Then John Freeman said "Gordon Freeman, you are my bro and I killed next boss. Combines science is bad and made you tricked bro stop the button and glowing."

The Dark Man angered back, "NO!" The he teleportaled to John Freeman and hit him with crow bar John freeman tried to grabe it but didn't and punched Gordon Freeman and they fought until John Freeman kicked Combine science off Gordon Freemans head. The science blowed up and Gordon Freeman stood and fall.

"Bro.." he said and John Freeman get Gordon Freeman closer. "Combines made me tricked bro, I'm sorry" Gordon Freeman said, and John Freeman said "I know bro, but you are hero" as he comfarted Gordon Freeman who died with a smiles on face.

Then John Freeman was a zombie. And he said "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Then the Combines said, "Stop THE HUMENS!!!" But the humens already were zombies. So John Freeman failed and Henry Freeman was headcrab zombie So Chuck Norris killed everyone and defeated the Combines.

The world was saved. But then the American Communists were assassinated by agents of the Emperor of Pants because they're having a party on Rainbow Falls, which lasted for a week, but then was stopped by Stalin and the kick ass ventriloquists from Popsicle Mountain. Later, Ted and the Squirrels released an album called Ted and The Squirrels Present: The Squirrels of the Apocalypse. It was groovy. Unfortunately, they sucked hard, and John Travolta sued.

Meanwhile, the prisoners of Santa Claus developed a serious vendetta and rebelled destroying all of Santa's sweatshops and the KFC franchises. And then, mutant fish sticks mobbed Red lobster because they didn't want the lobsters to be eaten by Fat Bastard, who went golfing with Michael Moore, who was murdered by cyborg Uncle Sam. Then, mutant hamsters attacked the Nazis with radioactive claws because Neil Armstrong jumped on a elderly lady's stove and bashed it in with her decapitated kitten's head.

But zombie Stalin masturbated to pies before sending his detached penis to the pie queen so she could incinerate it, and feed the ashes to Barack Obama while SatanicGlobeArtichoke watches. Who then thought is a mystery. But then, living ceased for George the magical tomato. But the pirate concocted a way to stop Christmas, kill homeless people, evade his taxes, flush his toilet, overthrow the government, and table dance all while riding a gorilla.

When...
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